Feasibility of Online Dating for Christian Believers

Love (photo: pixabay)
By XiaoyanJuly 6th, 2023

The development of the ministry of marriage within the church is thriving. According to current data, many marriages are achieved through matchmaking websites every year.

I know a brother in a southern city who is the owner of a large company, and his mother's home is the gathering place for a youth group. Over time, he noticed that many believers had difficulty finding suitable partners for marriage, and this issue remained unresolved for years. As a result, the brother donated some money to establish a matchmaking website for believers and recruited several part-time workers to handle its operation and planning.

So far, the website has been active for 11 years, and numerous brothers and sisters have met and gotten married through the platform.

Apart from this website, the membership and marriage data from other dating sites over the past decade are also encouraging. In terms of services, most sites offer tutoring sessions (free and paid), prayer forums, and more. Some websites with extensive membership coverage even organize offline matchmaking events in the cities they serve.

I have spoken to believers of different ages about their thoughts on such marriage platforms and whether they are interested in trying them. Some individuals express concerns about online dating, including long-distance relationships and the authenticity of members. I've heard stories of a sister who registered and encountered a brother who was already married and had lied about it. Additionally, some people may engage with multiple individuals and adopt a "choosing the best one" approach, which can be a waste of time and energy for others. However, some Christians believe that regardless of the number of in-person matchmaking events held, they can only meet a limited number of people, whereas the internet provides more possibilities. Matchmaking websites have a large number of members, opening up greater opportunities to meet the right partners.

Among my Christian friends, there are six couples who got married through matchmaking websites. Two sisters had been praying for marriage long before they registered on such websites. They had a rough idea of the kind of life and qualities they were seeking in a partner. After a few months, they met the people God had prepared for them. The two brothers were from the same hometown as the sisters but were working in other cities. When they returned to visit the sisters, the meetings were conducted openly in the church assembly. The confirmation that this was the work of God, and six months later, they were married. The two brothers subsequently joined a fellowship and became core coworkers.

Prior to meeting their partners, the two sisters also encountered unreliable individuals who were playboys and caused them significant pain. Therefore, when initiating contact with others online, it is important to avoid becoming emotionally invested too quickly and instead focus on rational communication and increased prayer.

I know a sister who was 40 years old at the time of registration and was divorced (converted after divorce). In her second year of believing in the Lord, she made it clear that she would take the path of serving God and asked God to prepare a brother for herself. She told God that she hoped to meet the one God had prepared only through the first letter in her station mailbox she was going to receive because she did not have the wisdom to judge the right person for her.

That sister did not receive a letter for nearly a month. However, on the last day of that month, she received a letter from a Chinese brother who was living in the United States. That brother was about her age and never married. Both of them are educated, capable, and simple believers in the Lord. Clearly, God has the ability to arrange and match marriages, even when faced with age and geographical restrictions.

The experiences of several of my friends who have successfully gotten married have one thing in common: a lot of early prayer and faith in God. Moreover, they had clear goals and were ready for marriage.

Before we consider whether we should seek the right ones for marriage through the Internet, we must ask God's guidance through prayer and know the pros and cons of this method. Although we do not know whether God will let us meet the right ones through the Internet or in real life, it is indispensable for us to have good faith and rely on God while acting.

 (The writer is a Christian in Shaanxi Province.)

-Translated by Nicolas Cao

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