Preacher's Confession: Lord! We owe you too much

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File Photo (photo: CCD)
By CCD Contributor: Ke LvOctober 12th, 2016

Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. (Matthew 20:28)

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.(Matthew28:19-20)

Our topic is about the gospel. When I kneel down in front of God to pray for the moving gospel and the lost soul lead by the Holy Spirit, God is always in my heart and lets me see how much I owe to Gospel. I have learned something about it and had communication with the brothers and sisters in the church. But honestly, I have never contributed to the gospel and devoted nothing to it.

God says to me "Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? (Romans 2:21)" I am very ashamed. I stood on the podium to tell  my brothers and sisters to preach the gospel, love the soul and realize our mission. But when I come to the reality, I often lose my faith in the Holy Spirit. There is a inner voice telling me that I am supposed to confess to God for my sin. Because I do know about the truth of the gospel and I do know that God loves the world. When I saw those who did not believe Jesus look terrified for their pains and diseases, I do know that they are not safe. But I indifferently abandoned the lead of my heart, which is my sin. But Heavenly Father still have mercy on me. He didn't punish me, nor beat me with the rod. Instead, he constantly shine on me and let me be ashamed to see their sins in the light of grace and initiatively come to Father to confess.

I write down the inner feelings and experiences for I am moved by God. I believe that God love me. Because perhaps now some friends are in the same situation as I am. God have us shone by the word from the Bible and we will be really zealous of the gospel. This is some of my understanding and experience, so that other brothers and sisters could learn a lesson from me.

First, we must be aware of our position and work for the gospel of God's blessing. We know that God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. For his omnipotence, he is able to do everything, and there is nothing that God cannot do.The gospel originally is Jesus Christ. He is the Almighty God, he can accomplish his plan of salvation without the participation of human. Likewise he can also send the gospel to human level without us and does not have everyone who he picked up saved. God has the ability but he does not make use of it, for God loves us. Although we are just useless vessels, God is willing to use us in order to make us be holy from humble, which is a qualitative change. God makes us enjoy his glory and behold the beauty. This is really a great promote for us.

As 1 Samuel 2:8 says,"He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the LORD's, and he hath set the world upon them." So think about how grateful we should be.He is God but he is work and share with us for our blessings among the princes. We should say, "God, you love us so much, because you are willing to use your holy to cleanse our dirty , to let us get rid of our humiliation with your glory and to remove our curse with your son's life. We thank you so much." When I wrote this, I was in tears. Because when we don't want to work for God, we forget the blessing and honor God has given us and even forget the salvation given by Lord Jesus on the cross.

When I say,"Lord, I thank you",I also say," Lord, I owe you. One more day I live, what I owe you increases. Because I am more and more indifferent, and I do not want to go to church, to serve, and to preach."

God is omniscient, whose thoughts are higher than ours and whose ways are higher than ours. He can know our thoughts from far away. We are naked and open in front of him without any shelter. So God knows what we think, our lazy heart, our unwillingness, our disobedience, our heart that we don't love God, our selfishness and our rebellion. So why we still live happily since God has known all? It is because he is God, rather than human. If we know the people we love are not grateful at all and betray us, we will try to put them to death. But God does not, or there will be no human in the world. The way in which God treats the sinners is to put the fire on their heads. This is what God demands us to do. He will do the operations on us, anesthetize us with love and then put my stone heart into a flesh one. Love is used as the beginning and end for the whole operation. So our life is full of love of God. If we do not work for God, we have more obvious indebtedness and sin.

The gospel is left for all the Christians before Jesus' ascension. We can do nothing but evangelizing. Sometimes we don't want to preach the gospel, because we are ashamed of the gospel and feel difficult to evangelize. We don't want to mention the name of Jesus to people, because we fear that people will laugh at us. This is what is called "they loved the glory of men more than the glory of God" in the Bible. People don't believe Jesus, because they are blinded by the god of the world. While Christians do not evangelize because of their vanity and inferiority. Our Lord is the God of heaven, but the world did not see him as God. He was born in the barn instead of the palace. So the world supposed Lord Jesus's poor, hungry, and shame. Who will believe and follow this kind of God? But those who have experienced the truth of life like us are not willing to evangelize, because we are afraid to be rejected as people rejected Jesus. If a child's father is a migrant worker, he will be not willing to mention his father. Because he considers the identity and status of the father as his shame. But if his father is an entrepreneur or a leader of the country, he will take the initiative to introduce his father to others. Because he considers it as his glory.

In fact, we should face ourselves instead of deceiving ourselves. Sometimes we don't want to mention the name of Jesus to people, because we consider Jesus as a shame. Jesus once said, "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." So we should be cautious and remind ourselves it may not do harm to us for now that we deny Jesus before men on the ground. But when we are right before God, it will horrible that God does not confess us.

If Jesus deny us, we will have no place to go. So evangelizing the gospel is our responsibility, and we live for the spread of the gospel. Otherwise our life will be meaningless. Many people do not realize that and feel relieved for their own salvation, regardless of others and even their families, which is totally wrong. These selfish people are against the creation and the salvation of God. Paul once said,"For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward: but if against my will, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.(1 Corinthians,9:16)"This is Paul' responsibility to the gospel. May everyone including myself inspired by the love of God, stay loyal and preach the gospel, and let the fire of the gospel burning in our hearts once again.

The salvation will be finished on God's own. Lord made it by himself alone,  and what we ought to do is to have this good news spread. Lord, please forgive us once again, make us to work for your and comfort you. May the love of God inspire us.

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