Recently, Teacher Wang, a psychological counselor in East China, shared her faith journey and her distinct perspective on the role of a psychological counselor.
Teacher Wang became a Christian after she came into contact with marital harmony courses developed by Christian practitioners before her marriage. Out of her affection for Christians, she later married a Christian husband. She did not major in psychology at first, but she became interested after her involvement. With her Christian background, she changed her life through faith and study, intuitively recognizing her duty to offer guidance and support to a wider audience.
Among the visitors, there are many issues faced by the younger generation, in addition to the common problems such as depression, anxiety, and parent-child dynamics. The main manifestations are game addiction, weariness of learning, depression, anxiety, etc. The younger generation, in its collective vulnerability, shares the problems with the older generation.
On this topic, Ms. Wang believes that Gen Z is not lacking in material things but in the emotional part—being accompanied and emotionally nourished. They seem to be satisfied, but what they really need is not seen or met. They need to be concerned, listened to, and understood, and their hearts need to be nourished. Even people who look very self-centered lack such nourishment, which is why they strive to focus on their appearance. They dress themselves in an offbeat way just to be noticed and to prove their unique personality and value.
She called on society to pay more attention to the spiritual fullness of young people rather than blindly making them look excellent. In this respect, it is most necessary for parents and families to concern themselves with and care for their children, as families and parents have the greatest influence.
She has also seen in many social psychological counseling cases that it is difficult to give more direct counseling to young people with the separation of their family and parents. But at least within the one hour of counseling, the youngsters are completely listened to, understood, and not suppressed, which is emotional nourishment for them.
It is ethical not to directly talk about Christians, but she understands that Jesus' embrace, understanding, and unconditional love make her feel inner strength when confronted with these despondent young people or advisees. When they feel that they need not alter themselves and that they posses the choice to remain unaltered, the changes really happen. Otherwise, youthful rebellion and self-centeredness tend to surface.
Speaking of the achievements and challenges in psychological counseling, Ms. Wang said that the greatest sense of accomplishment is that her life changes have influenced other life changes. "In the counseling process, I could be sad or happy with them, and by such accompaniment, they are willing to open their heart in front of me. It is a pivotal and exceptionally precious moment."
The biggest challenge is that even professional psychological counselors will grapple with the exhaustion of life and encounter some difficult cases. They are not easy, either.
Regarding how psychological counselors face the exhaustion of life, Ms. Wang shared that they grapple daily with a barrage of negative experiences, occasionally struggling to digest them fully. During such moments, it is particularly important to connect their hearts with God and learn to entrust their concerns to Him. In addition, psychological counselors cannot isolate themselves and should have the support of their partners. There will be a fixed time every week to discuss cases. Different consultants in the group will provide some solutions from different perspectives. If they cannot solve the problems, they are not hesitant to seek guidance and assistance.
Regarding counseling, she has a saying in her heart: Look inward, look up, look at the relationship, and then look at the world. "When confronted with issues, we often want to solve them directly, but we have not handled our hearts well and connected with God, so it is invalid to directly deal with the matter. We must introspect, discern our emotions, and articulate our needs when adversity strikes. We should discuss these with God, who will accept us and make us calm, so that we can face them differently and bravely."
Taking her own experience as an example, she said that individual health precedes relationship harmony, with the latter contributing to the overall health of the individuals involved. This process constitutes a cyclical dynamic. "I once lost myself within the confines of my family, assuming the roles of wife and mother without valuing my own significance. Subsequently, I realized that women in similar situations tend to lead arduous lives marked by a bad ending. Or they would be isolated, and no one cares whether she is happy or not. Their children may be physically healthy, yet they are not necessarily mentally healthy, as an isolated mother can only give the children an isolated life."
In the face of psychological needs, Ms. Wang believes that Christians should pay special attention to their own lives in addition to the psychological consultation certificate. "The deeper your life goes into the darkness, the better you can accompany the visitors into their lives."
She also reminded us in particular that we must know that we are not saviors but seekers. "We are often eager to solve problems and want to be saviors, but psychological counselors are not saviors, nor are church counselors. The role of Savior belongs solely to God. But we can interact with them, accompany them, listen to them, and understand them with the love of Jesus Christ. Just as Dr. Wei-Jen Huang (Dr. Love) said, 'Listening is love, and understanding is healing.'"
- Translated by Oliver Zuo
