I am the second generation of a Christian family. In the era of material deprivation, as the only male descendant in the family, my uncle had been sick for years with no signs of healing, despite seeking medical advice everywhere. At that time, there was a saying that Jesus can heal all who believe, which drove them to church, and my uncle was then cured. Therefore, the whole family, including my mother, became Christians.
My childhood memories are intertwined with church life. During worship gatherings, I would follow my parents to church. Sermons were over my head. I either fell asleep in my mother's arms or headed to the yard to have fun with my peers. In my daily life, I often heard conversations about faith, life, and prayers between my mother and other Christian aunts. There was also the merriest event, Christmas, which was the children’s favorite.
When it came to my teenager, there was a heavier homework load on my shoulders and more thoughts in my head. Sometimes I would skim through my mother's Bible, but I found it difficult to understand. It was a time when I started to realize the emptiness and complexity of life, yet I didn’t believe faith was the answer.
At college, I joined the fellowship of the church, attended every Sunday worship, studied the Bible, even served in the church, and told everyone I was a Christian. However, I was not clear about the relationship between me and Jesus or that between Jesus and God, though I knew there is a God who loves me. I barely had knowledge about the basic doctrines, so I would have doubts about God’s love when confronted with things I couldn’t understand. I found my flesh to be weak in establishing a relationship with God, even though my spirit was willing.
Years later, a senior Christian told me that spiritual life is rooted in trusting God and knowing Jesus, which I had no idea how to do. Her answer was to know more about Jesus first. It occurred to me that I barely knew Jesus, regardless of claiming to be born as a Christian. I often forget about Jesus's love, despite being moved to tears by it.
Jesus, who was God's only child, arrived on earth to spread love, but the prepared rejected him. He came close to those at the bottom of society, presenting God’s infinite love and forgiveness towards the sinful. Confronted with the disciples’ weakness and betrayal, he loved them till the end; facing the cross, he finished the path of redemption. A pastor said that not only when Jesus was crucified, but his whole life was the path of the cross, which makes the cross the symbol of Christianity.
A pastor, who is also a second-generation Christian, mentioned that one benefit of attending church since childhood as the second generation is that they have had a fear of God. However, the issue is that many of them need to learn who Jesus is, and they need to establish a true relationship with him, under the cognition that Jesus is their parents' Lord. He exhorted the second generation to break free from the previous cognitive framework and “to know Jesus again.”
He proposed two approaches to understanding Jesus: one is through genuine personal experience, and the other is through a thorough grasp of salvation. After a day of staying with Jesus, disciples of John the Baptist confessed that Jesus was the Christ, as their focus was on the real life of Jesus. We have to realize that what saves us is the real Son of Man, a living person, instead of some theory or our parents’s Christian identity.
The process of truly knowing Jesus has been uneasy. There have been struggles, pains, and even thoughts of leaving Christianity when I reflect on my faith experience over these years. Yet, the Lord’s love has always been there for me, as he chose, protected, and guided me. Now I can confirm that Jesus is not only the Lord of my mother's life but also the Lord of mine.
- Translated by Poppy Chan
